there's always a reason to feel not good enough.

extreme down-ness

[ Monday, October 30, 2006|10:40 PM ]

let's talk about today.. had a lot of feelings hurled up.. dunno how to say.. anyway, had intensive today too. was okay la.. mrs ajith was so funny. saw her walking past our class with another teacher. in the end she came back. she said she missed our class. haha. she walk past also dunno.. haha.. then things per normal.. went out after intensive for lunch.. at kfc.. then it started pouring.. " how to go back.. " sian.. actually i wanted to go back alot.. really alot.. but they wanna walk abit.. so just follow.. since its still pouring.. was like so moodless.. body here but soul at other place.. only can think.. then really moodless but they still walking so follow lo.. we already late le.. but no choice.. raining.. was thinking that if we were in the past.. what would we do.. of cos we would not mind rushing back in the rain.. we would be happy and it will be worth it.. but now.. still must consider.. if rush back will be good cos it shows we are responsible.. but isit worth not? go there disappoint ourselves.. sian.. halfway up another level.. ya ya called.. sian half.. " where are you now.. faster come back.. bla bla.. " hai.. then nobody cared.. cos all kana hurt by it so much.. hai.. then after walking we walked to the 62 bus stop.. on the way someone called yufang.. " hello, who are you... orh.. bla bla.. the three of you better faster run back.. " hai.. the more we were hurt by such comments.. everything gone to waste.. sian.. sat at the bus stop waiting for bus.. then chatted.. said out everything.. felt so much better.. all of us share the same thoughts and feelings.. the main thing is WHAT FOR? last year what we do.. what we sacrificed.. all gone to waste.. what they know.. nothing.. this year.. everything we do means nothing.. nobody knows.. we do not for credits.. but for what we feel.. we just want respect.. bla bla bla.. then reach school.. felt so down.. really so down.. disappointed times and again.. hai...